#1. WHEN THEY FIRST WAKE UP.
How do you greet your spouse when they first wake up or as they are getting ready for the day?
“I love you and I’m glad I woke up with you by my side!” Go beyond the routine “Good Morning” and whisper these words in your spouse’s ear as you both wake up to a new day. It is not only hugely sensual (foreplay starts when you wake up!) but reassures your spouse of your love and commitment.
Compliment. Praise is the act of expressing approval, admiration or complimenting someone:
“That dress looks fantastic on you.” Or “You look handsome.”
Benefits:
(1) This will set a positive tone for the day. “Words from a wise man's mouth are gracious...” (Ec 10:12);
(2) “I love you” provides reassurance and comfort that you still love and are committed to your spouse;
(3) Compliments ignites passion and says that you are “in love” and still “attracted” to your spouse.
#2. WHEN THEY LEAVE IN THE MORNING.
How do you leave your spouse in the morning? If you have only one smile in you, give it to the people you love. Don't be surly at home, then go out in the street and start grinning “Good morning” at total strangers.
Speaking “life” into your spouse through “Words of Encouragement.” The word “encourage” means “to make courageous.” When we speak encouraging words we are putting courage into the other. Life has a way of draining it out of us and it’s easy to shut down, withdraw or get discouraged. When we speak words of encouragement we are giving your spouse that extra energy–extra courage–to do something, to release some untapped potential in some area of their life. “You’re going to have a great presentation.” “You’re going to handle that situation with your girlfriend.” “Then a voice came from heaven, ‘You are My beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased.’” (Mark 1:11)
Affection—do you offer any kind of kiss or just a friendly, “See you later!” Do you kiss like you mean it or give a pathetic little peck kiss (connecting for a millisecond), faux lip kiss (leaning forward and barely grazing your spouse’s lips), the across-the-room (or across-the-yard) soundeffect kiss when you’re too rushed to even bother with the other two, or the dreaded kiss-on-thecheek kiss?
Benefits:
(1) That is the feeling they will hold all day long. The tongue has the power of life and
death. (Prov. 18:21);
(2) Kissing “like you mean it” is a sign of your devotion and passion for one another.
#3. WHEN THEY ARE GONE DURING THE DAY.
How do you connect with your spouse when they are gone during the day?
Frequently Connect With Your Spouse—“I've been thinking of you.” Use brief phone calls, voice mail, text messaging or e-mails to connect or flirt with your spouse throughout the day. Let them know you care about them or were just thinking about them. Your words will act like a pep-up pill and help them to get through the day.
Communicate Constantly. The busier you are, the greater your need to communicate with your spouse. It can be easy for things to go unsaid and upcoming appointments and events not to be discussed. This will create conflict and tension in your marriage.
Benefits:
(1) This sends 2 critical messages: “YOU are on my mind” and “WE are on my mind.”
#4.WHEN THEY ARRIVE BACK HOME.
How do you greet your spouse when they arrive back home?
Greet your spouse whenever they return from someplace else. When your spouse comes home (i.e. work, errands, outings, etc.) and walks through the door, have you and the family lovingly greet them with hugs and kisses and show their excitement to see them.
Use the “big 4”—affection, excitement, appreciation and empathy.
Often, when a spouse returns home, the other spouse is in the middle of something (i.e.
preparing dinner, housework, attending to the kids, hobby, TV, etc.) and barely looks up to say hello, not to mention walk over to embrace them when they come in. Most people would stop whatever they were doing to welcome a guest into their home…why shouldn’t we do the same for our best friend and spouse?
Benefits:
(1) This sets a positive tone for the evening.
(2) This says “I VALUE you—that the person coming in the door is more important than anything else I might be doing at that moment. Where your treasure is there will your heart be also. (Luke 12:34)
#5. WHEN THEY GO TO BED.
How do you say goodnight to your spouse right before you go to bed?
Gratitude—thankful recognition by saying “thank you.” But the key is to thank your spouse for something specific that you appreciated that he/she did. “Thanks for being a great provider.” Or “Thanks for washing the dishes.” Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. (1 Thess. 5:18)
Appreciation—noticing and expressing what you value about your spouse (Rom 12:10). The word “appreciation” which means to add value to. When you appreciate something you are putting extra value into it. The more you ‘appreciate’ something the more valuable it becomes to you. Appreciation is more about noticing what you value about your spouse (i.e., character traits, personality).
Prayer - Should be the final words your spouse hears from you. Pray on the Armor of God on your spouse; pray a hedge of protection around them and the blood of Jesus over them.
Benefits:
(1) This is the feeling they will hold all night long—leaves them happy as they drifts off to sleep. A meaningful “good night” can allow the recipient to fall asleep in a world that is far away from everyday pressures, grows a significant craving within your spouse to be with you the next morning, they feel more secure and comforted, can serve to add a romantic flair, says that “you care about her and her sleep,” and helps to build the relationship in positive ways, including keeping things fresh and far from mundane;
(2) Gratitude and appreciation are so vital for the health of the marriage.
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